Should I confess to my husband?

[picapp src=”d/2/5/7/More_Please_3447.jpg?adImageId=5233673&imageId=4881149″ width=”452″ height=”594″ /]

My husband is a handsome, generous, loving chap.  And I love him dearly.  But I am keeping a secret from him and I wonder; should I spill the beans, or keep schtum?  Surely a wife should never keep secrets from her husband.  And yet, what if I am doing it to protect him?  Does that make it okay?

Here’s my dilemma; perhaps you can help?

My husband is a Scotsman and although he grew up in England he’s proud of his roots.  He dons his Scotland shirt for all rugby matches, suddenly pronounces his “t’s” with much vigour after a pint or two and smiles indulgently when I tell friends that, just like a stick of rock, he has “made in Inverness” written all the way through him.

But if there’s any one issue that gets him going, anything that stirs his ancient ire, it’s the subject of…porridge.  Please do not suggest to him that Ready Brek is like porridge.  Pleeeeeease do not suggest that it should be made with oatmeal or, even worse, have (oh good heaven) sugar or honey added!  That would be more than he can bear.  If it’s not Real Porridge, it’s just not porridge to my Monty.

He is extremely proud of his porridge-making skills (secret recipe, but it’s basically large oats, milk, water and salt with a little cream to adorn it) and treasures his spurtle, given to him by his mother.  And I have to hand it to him, he makes a truly mean (awesome) bowl of porridge.

So why do I need your help?  Well, yesterday was the World Porridge Making Championships in Carrbridge, Inverness-shire.  And, according to BBC news,  it was won by an American.  Now my Monty likes Americans and America very much indeed.  But can he cope with the knowledge that the best porridge-maker in the world and holder of the coveted “Golden Spurtle” is one Matthew Cox from Milwaukie?  I’m really not sure.  Could an American cope if Mrs Ada Lovelace of Egham in Surrey won the World’s Best Meatloaf award in Barstow, California?

P.S.  For all of you who saw the picture at the top and thought this was a post about him “getting his oats”, <snigger>, I am so sorry; you have been misled.  This is a genuine porridge poll.  Have you not seen one before?



Filed under Britishness, English cookery

5 responses to “Should I confess to my husband?

  1. SallyK

    Love your blog, even though I have to read it with a tab opened to Wikipedia! Hey, I’m learning a new language (actual English). I will be back – and thanks for the link to Steve Fry’s web site. North Coast Muse @ Oh, and thanks for reading my blog too!

  2. LOL. I’m American (and from WI – the state in which Milwaukee resides) and it’s funny that the world porridge making champion is from around these parts because, to be honest, I can’t say I ever heard ANYONE talk about porridge during the duration of my childhood (or adulthood, for that matter), unless in the context of a story or fairy tale! Oatmeal, yes. Porridge, no. (And love the meatloaf reference – I recently made some for my English Gent and he was quite confused as to what “exactly” it was) 🙂 Thanks for the laugh!

  3. Hello-

    This may not be the correct place to post this comment but I just went for it. I somehow stumbled upon your blog while randomly clicking tags and links and am caught up in reading it. Fun stuff, I’ve been to Europe but never to England so much of what you write is like a witty culture lesson. I enjoyed this post a lot, keep writing!

  4. It’s alright that an American has one the Golden Spurtle! Your husband should be proud of the amount of cultural influence Scotland has throughout the world. Imagine someone being so fond of porridge that they fly all the way from America to take part in a porridge making contest. Just tell your husband that the winner’s grandmother was a Scot and it’s her (secret) recipe he used. He’ll be fine.

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